Project:Impossible
by lilpinkbunny
Summary: Hermione and Draco are teamed up for a project and are broke, what will they do to raise $$?? read and see!! Paroty of Oceans 11 and Sugar and Spice, Tons of ships. *updated NOV. 22* MUHAHAHAHAHA!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. hip hop gansta goyle

This is my new fic. Gonna be funny hope you enjoy. Here is my reflections on:  
  
Flaming: I don't give a damn!! So there!!!  
  
Reviwing: review well and often:  
  
OOC: everyone is way OOC, otherwise it wouldn't be funny.  
  
Now that's out of the way!!!  
  
DISCLAIMER: All I own is a CD player, some clothing and a Mountain Dew, hell no I don't own Harry potter and company. (I own nothing)  
  
  
  
Now let the insanity begin~  
  
  
  
  
  
~~The Story without a name~~  
  
~~Review and suggest one!!!~~  
  
~~Please~~  
  
  
  
Scene: Hermione and Lavender's and Pavatie's Dorm, 7:00 in the mourning, first school day of seventh year. The girls are running around in underwear getting ready for the day ahead. Radio is on.  
  
  
  
Radio: Wake up Hogworts!! First day of school!! I wanna give a shout out to my peeps, yeah Slitherin, we kick ass!!! Also a shout out to all the fine honeys listings. Ok, heres a classic, Its "Baby Got Back" This is mix master Goyle given you all the raps to get yer day rollen', we be thuggen'! Here's the song.  
  
(Baby got back starts in the back ground)  
  
Lavender: Goyle is so hot.  
  
Parvatie: Not as hot as Crabbe.  
  
Lavender: Girlfriend, you be trippen'.  
  
Hermione just rolls her eyes. People change and get weird.  
  
Hermione: I thought that you thought that Malfoy was hot.  
  
Lavender: eww, you gotta be plump and juicy. A girl needs sumten to grab on ta!!!  
  
The chorus to "Baby got back" comes on. Parvatie turns it up and starts to dance as they get dresses. Hermione jumps on her bed and starts to rap into her brush. Suddenly the song is cut off.  
  
Parvatie: Hey, I was just getten my freak on!!!  
  
Radio: We interrupt this totally bangen' song to bring you a word from our happnen head master, take it away you headmasterness!!!!  
  
Girls: Sigh  
  
Dumbledor: A Seventh years report to the great hall ASAP!!! And I mean NOW!!!  
  
Goyle: I'm signen off, until next time, peace and much luv!  
  
The girls turn off the radio and finish getting dressed.  
  
  
  
SCENE ENDS  
  
I know that this is hellishly short, but I'm going to do this scene wise. I'm almost done with next scene. BE RESPONSIBLE, READ AND REVIEW!!!  
  
Much love  
  
~pink~~ 


	2. land of the ponies

Here's Scene 2. still not title, please suggest one. Also after this chapter there will be a plot, also sorry about my spelling, I know it sucks!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing  
  
  
  
~~The story with out a name~~  
  
Scene 2: The Great Hall; students at their house tables (only seventh years).  
  
Dumbledor: Ok, this meeting is being held to tell about a new project. You creatures of the world will be sent off to the wasteland of the globe after this year and yeah, we are going to organize you. Two students will be "wedded in holy matrimony" and will have houses and jobs in the muggle world and have to preserve themselves. "Families" will even have "children".  
  
  
  
At this there was an out brake of mystification and racket.  
  
Draco: MUGGLES! I will never live the life of a Muggle. This is an insult to the Malfoy name. I object.  
  
Parvatie: I CALL MARRIED TO GOYLE!!  
  
Pansy: Will I be able to bring my Diamond shining 8 hour lasting and totally bangen' makeup??????  
  
Dumbledor: WE will be putting you into groups now, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are utterly random. First cluster.  
  
Lavender and Goyle.  
  
Parvatie: NOOOOOOO!!!  
  
  
  
She lunges at Lavender and starts to pull her hair. Hermione pulls her back.  
  
Hermione: TAKE A CHILL PILL!!!!! Seriously.  
  
Hermione hands Lavender a pill. Lavender takes it and it puts her into a rather dreamy mood.  
  
Lavender: Ohhhhhh, rainbows and bunnies. little leprechauns, I'll come with you to the world of ponies!  
  
With a dazed look in her eyes she prances out of the great hall.  
  
Dumbledor: Ok, the next lucky couple is.. Draco and Hermione!  
  
The great hall erupts into cheers. They were both the prom king and queen of Hogworts. Not a couple really, just perfect for each other. They hate each other (DUH!)  
  
Dumbledor: I persist, Harry and Pansy; Seamus and Millicent; Crabbe and Parvatie, when she comes back to earth that is.  
  
  
  
  
  
On that note Professor Flitwick runs into the hall moving a flouting Parvatie with him. He is dressed like a leprechaun.  
  
Flitwick: She said I was a Leprechaun and that I should bring her to the land of rainbows and ponies. I though it best to bring her here. Parvatie just made a gargling noise. (A/n: in the movie I thought that if you added the right wardrobe Flitwick would look like a Leprechaun, so there you are.)  
  
Dumbledor: Ok, Basil and Ron; Neville and Hannah; and the rest of you aren't really main characters so just pair up amongst your selves.  
  
There was some mumbling about it being unfair, but the rest of them paired up.  
  
Dumbledor: Okay, let me explain this project better. You will all be married for a year living in Muggle London. You will have muggle jobs and have to make it on your own in the muggle world. Some of you will have children some of you wont, and yes, some of you will be pregnant. All these children are just transfigured desks, even the unborn ones. The unborn ones will have to be given birth to. Do you understand? These children will be like real ones made in you and your spouses image. You will have to feed it. You also will have to go to your job weather you like it or not. None of you have a great Muggle learning so if you are incline to quite you must be good at saying the phrase "Would you like fries with that?" because that is the only job you will be being paid for. I'm going to hand out you existence information sheets and then you will be port keying to your houses. Also, the most thriving family unit at the end of the year will win a sightseeing trip of America and 1 million galleons spending cash. (A/N: sorry that sounds slightly unrealistic, oh well.) Here are your information sheets. You must fuse to them at all times.  
  
Dumbledor gave everyone a sheet. This is what Draco and Hermione's said:  
  
  
  
  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
The Malfoy family:  
  
Draco's job: Lawyer, entry level at a law firm..... $25,000 a year  
  
Hermione's job: Romantic Novel writer........$15,000 a year  
  
Combined total.................. $ 40,000 a year  
  
  
  
Family: Hermione I six months pregnant with twins and is working form home.  
  
Home: Town house 1.5 bathrooms and 2 bedrooms; small  
  
  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
  
  
Hermione: NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING TO BE PREGNANT!!!  
  
Draco: oh come on baby, they'll have to good looken' they have good genes. Good looking and Smart.  
  
Hermione: I'm stuck married to you, and I have to be fat. LIFE SUCKS!!!  
  
Dumbledor: Here starts your exciting activity.  
  
They touched to port key and were off on the adventure of a lifetime.  
  
SCENE ENDS!  
  
Sorry, not to funny. Next scene will pink up. I got ideas brewen'!  
  
ROCK ON!!  
  
~Pink~ 


	3. the american dream and tofu dogs

Here is scene 3! Thank you to my reviewers!  
  
amandas alter ego- Goyle is damn sexy! I might have to work in Fred and George into the mix ..Hee Hee Hee (evil thoughts) there will be extreme craziness, you never know who will pop up! Ron hot? Whatever!  
  
toohott2touch44- I have just read your story and it kicks ass! I'm looking for updates!  
  
Saria Black- There will be Harry/Pansy stuff. I plan to stay mostly with Draco and Hermione, but everyone lives in London so people will have unexpected meetings! MUHAHAHAHAHA! Yes Goyle has a sexy voice, that's why he's on the radio!  
  
mirei nochi- Thank you, I try!  
  
FF.Net will be down so I will be writing and then transferring. When it gets back up I will update.  
  
Disclaimer: me own Harry Potter, (falls on the floor hysterically laughing) NO!  
  
  
  
And with no further adu I bring to you.  
  
~THE STORY THAT STILL HAS NO NAME~  
  
~Pleze suggest one~  
  
  
  
Scene: Draco and Hermione have just arrived outside of their new town home, complete with white picket fence. Hermione is noticeably bigger because she is pregnant. Draco is just dazed.  
  
Hermione (sarcastically): ooh ooh, the great American dream comes to life! Complete with white picket fence, birdbath, and a huge pain in my ass!!!  
  
Draco: Hermione, Shut up. Let go inside.  
  
Hermione: good cause I gotta puke!  
  
  
  
They enter a small sized house the living room has a walk in kitchen and a small breakfast nook with a powder room off of that. The stairwell goes to a modest upstairs that had a master bedroom. The room has a king-sized bed. The walls aren't painted and there is a small "balcony" off the back of the house. There is a closet that has maternity clothing for Hermione and some suits for Draco. The room was modest, almost undersized. (People shocked all around! Gasps from the crowd!!!) The Bathroom has a tub/shower, a sink, and a vanity. They only have the necessary grooming objects such as Draco's razor, toothpaste and toothbrushes, their deodorant, Shampoo and conditioner, brushes and hair ties, and soap. The extra room was already decorated for a baby with cribs and changing tables. They both went downstairs.  
  
  
  
Draco: OOOH, what's this???? OOOH buttons.  
  
Hermione: That's the telephone. Hey, Hot shit, we got speed dial.  
  
Draco: I'm hungry.  
  
Hermione: Look just cause were married doesn't mean I'm gonna wait on you, cause no I don't want to scrubs!  
  
Hermione goes into the kitchen and finds that there is no food.  
  
Hermione: We Have to go grocery shopping. Hon?  
  
Draco: yes sugarplum!  
  
Hermione: you stay here. I'm gonna call Lavender and go grocery shopping.  
  
Draco (gasps): With the phone!!!!  
  
Hermione (sarcastically): yeah, no shit!!!!  
  
Hermione picks up the phone and starts to dial. It rings. She puts in on speakerphone.  
  
Lavender: Hello?  
  
Hermione: Hey it's Mione!  
  
Lavender: wassssup??? (A/n: like in scary movie!!)  
  
Hermione: aah, not much. Wanna go buy food??  
  
Lavender: Yeah. Meet you at the store in twenty.  
  
Hermione: gotcha. Bye.  
  
Lavender: bye my homie.  
  
  
  
END PHONE CONVERSATION  
  
Hermione: shit I think Goyle is wearing off on her.  
  
Draco: no shit.  
  
Hermione: okay. You ok here for a bit. OOH I know!! Watch TV. AMERICANS FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS! (They watch a man fall of the back of a pickup truck. They both erupt into laughter! Hermione is rolling on the floor and Draco is crying.) the greatest Muggle innovation evea. I'm leaving. Check ya later!  
  
Draco: Bye!  
  
Hermione goes out of the door to find Parvatie lying in there front yard. She is making a gargling noise.  
  
Hermione: umm, Parvatie. EARTH TO PARVATIE!!!  
  
Parvatie wakes up.  
  
Parvatie: Goyle???  
  
Hermione: I don't know. Why are you here?  
  
Parvatie: Hey yer pretty. I'm a leprechaun. LETS GO TO THE LAND OF THE PONIES!!!!  
  
Hermione (thinking): This would only get weirder if she broke into song!  
  
Parvatie (staggering around the front yard brakes into a rap): I like big butts and I cannot lie. You other brothers can't deny, when a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in yer face.(she starts so shake her butt.)  
  
Suddenly the front door opens. It's Draco.  
  
Hermione: Here take Parvatie. I'm gonna go now.  
  
Hermione hand a dancing Parvatie to Draco.  
  
Draco: whoa, she's wasted.  
  
Parvatie: GIVE ME A CHILL PILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (A/N: like the lady, what's her name in Austin Power, you know, the evil one.)  
  
Draco (ignores Parvatie): Hermione, don't forget my animal crackers. They are very important to me. I have plans for them. MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hermione: okay.  
  
  
  
CUT TO HERMIONE AND LAVENDER IN THE GROCERY STORE.  
  
Lavender: okay Hermione, if you had to be one, who would you be: Lucky charms Leprechaun or Fruit loops toucan???  
  
Hermione: DUH!!! The Leprechaun! Toucans are so 1999!!  
  
Lavender: OMG! I totally know!  
  
Hermione puts Lucky Charms into the cart. They walk into the next aisle where there is a sale on Tofu Hot Dogs. A lady is giving out free samples.  
  
Hermione: OOH! These smell so good. I must have one.  
  
She takes a sample and another and another.  
  
Lavender: EWWWW! These taste like shit! (she spits it out)  
  
Hermione: THESE KICK (she slaps her ass)!!! We have to get some.  
  
Hermione promptly fills up her cart.  
  
Lavender: Lets go.  
  
With that the two girls go to the cash register.  
  
Lavender: I forgot to tell you. Tonight Goyle and I are having a party. You guys are so invited!  
  
Hermione: Yes!!!  
  
Lavender: Goyle says its gonna be off the heezy fasheezy!  
  
Hermione: I'm down wit that!  
  
Lavender: Have you seen Parvatie? I tried to call her, but she wasn't there. Crabbe said something about her running yelling about ponies and Goyle. I'm worried about her!  
  
Hermione: Yeah, she's at our house. Something about wanting more chill pills. She's drugged out. We'll return her home.  
  
Lavender: K! See ya tonight!  
  
Hermione: yeah! Bye!  
  
END OF SCENE!!!!!!  
  
Didya like it.  
  
PREVIEW: Next chapter will include. Tofu dogs, animal crackers and a party. Yeah MIX MASTER GOYLE!!!! Also, a twist in the story!  
  
BE responsible, READ AND REVIEW!!!  
  
~PINK~ 


	4. Attack of the Moos

HOWDY!! FF.NET is down right now, so I'm not going to comment about reviews but try to get on with the story. This chapter has Goyle's party! ENJOY!!!  
  
With no further adu.  
  
My lovely disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: Is this even necessary? (I don't own Harry potter)  
  
For real this time.  
  
~~The Story Without A Title~~  
  
~Please suggest one! ~  
  
SCENE: Hermione is entering the house. Draco is watching Americas Funniest Home Videos. Parvatie is knocked out cold on the floor.  
  
Hermione: Hey. what happened to Parvatie?  
  
Draco (still watching TV, it's a funny video about a man falling into a pool): yeah, she would shut up so I hit her on the head with this.  
  
He holds up a baseball bat.  
  
Hermione: Where did ya get that from?  
  
Draco: I donno. DO YOU HAVE MY ANIMAL CRACKERS????????  
  
Hermione (now in the kitchen putting the food into the cabinets.) Yes, here!  
  
She throws him a box of animal crackers and he rips it open.  
  
Draco: OOH! An Elephant!!!!! (He starts to talk to the crackers) What's that Mr. Elephant? Ooh, you want cheesecake! OK!! Hermione, can you get me some cheesecake??  
  
Hermione (starting to cook tofu dogs): Draco, we don't have enough money to get cheesecake. Do ya want a tofu dog? MMMMMM TOFU!!!  
  
Parvatie: MOO  
  
Draco, just ignore her and is talking to Mr. Elephant.  
  
Hermione: She moos???  
  
Draco: HELL YEAH! OK!! Mr. Elephant wants one to.  
  
Hermione: Draco, stop it with the animal crackers.  
  
Draco: NO! You hurt Mr. Elephant's feelings! Say sorry.  
  
Hermione (at the end of her rope): OK! GODS! (Talks to the cracker) I'm so BLOODY sorry about hating your BLOODY ass!!  
  
Draco: Nicer.  
  
Hermione (grabs elephant and eats it): THERE HAPPY!!!  
  
Parvatie (gives off happiness moos): MOO!  
  
Draco starts to laugh hysterically.  
  
Hermione: what's so funny?  
  
Draco: You totally fell for my animal cracker obsession trick! I love this game. You do things to piss off your roommate, like animal cracker plays, or shaving off an eyebrow and they freak out!  
  
Hermione: whatever. I'm having a tofu dog.  
  
They eat there tofu dogs.  
  
Parvatie: MOO!  
  
Draco: HEY! These are good!!!  
  
The doorbell rings.  
  
Hermione gets up and opens the door. It's Crabbe  
  
Crabbe: Is Parvatie in there.  
  
Parvatie: MOO!  
  
Hermione: Thank gods you're here!  
  
Parvatie: IMA cow. MOO!  
  
Hermione: Sorry, Draco hit her over the head with a baseball bat. She should be okay in a few hours.  
  
Crabbe: COOL! So all she does is moo?  
  
Hermione: Basically  
  
Crabbe: totally gnarly!  
  
Hermione rolls eyes CRABBE AND PARVATIE LEAVE (with one final moo) Draco and Hermione finish eating their tofu dogs.  
  
Draco: That girl has gone off the deep end.  
  
Hermione: I know. Oh, Goyle and Lavender are having a party tonight, wanna go?  
  
Draco: sure.  
  
Hermione: Wait. You know how were married?  
  
Draco: Yeah.  
  
Hermione: Well, I don't have a ring. People wont know I'm married.  
  
Draco: Oh, that's right. I may have to pretend to be a poor muggle that has to *gasp* WORK, but that doesn't mean you can look good! Were so spending the first paycheck on a ring!  
  
Hermione: Thank you baby!  
  
Draco: that's okay sugarplum!  
  
END OF SCENE!  
  
Ok. I know that this chapter was short and not to funny. But next chapter is the party. FF.net was up faster then I thought it would be, so I wanted to post. The ideas about how to annoy your roommate came off of this site about jokes. http://www.geocities.com/funnythings4u/50annoy.html here is the link! I suggest that you go to it. School starts soon, so I don't know when I'll update next, probably by Monday!  
  
MUCH LUV!  
  
~~Pink~~ 


	5. Suprises at the party!

Here is the big party scene. After this the story will pick up and start to skip ahead a little with Hermione's Pregnancy and other stuff. Oh yeah, and every ones first day of work. Hope you enjoy.  
  
My Internet is temporarily broken so this is a bit late, sorry!  
  
Thank you.  
  
mirei nochi- I will read your story when I get a free second. Thank you for all the praise!  
  
Forever89- I agree with your title suggestion. hee hee hee! Thank you for thinking I'm funny, cause I'm really not!  
  
Also. Gonna Revise last chapter, but only gonna take stuff out, do no need to re-read.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or anything associated with it.  
  
  
  
~~Project: Impossible~~  
  
~I have a title!!! (Sticks out tongue)~~  
  
  
  
Scene: A small apartment. There is no furniture. It is much like Breakfast at Tiffany. There is beer in the kitchen. People from Hogworts are all coming in. There is Lavender, Goyle, Neville, Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, Hannah, Pansy, Basil, Crabbe, and a bunch of "space filler" people. Music is blasting from the back room, almost everyone is drunk. Draco and Hermione enter. Hermione is wearing the latest fashion in pregnancy clouting. A red tank top with her stomach exposed and black stretch pants. (A/n: Think Jennifer Aniston season finale of "Friends") Draco was being his usual cool self in a pair of khaki pants and polo shirt. Lavender comes up to welcome them. Goyle is on the turntables.  
  
Lavender: Hermione! Pregnancy really agrees with you!  
  
Hermione (sarcastically): Yes, I love my transfigured desks with all my heart! Is Parvatie coming? Wait, did you hear what happened to her.  
  
Lavender: I did hear what happened, and Crabbe said she's on medication. It turns out that she was addicted to chill pills.  
  
Hermione: Oh, how tragic.  
  
Lavender: I know! Oh, hello Draco! How's it going with you two?  
  
Draco: Oh, it's ok, what's that noise in the back?  
  
Lavender: OH, its Karaoke! You have to try it. Goyle saw it in a store and had to have it. You gotta try it. SO MUCH FUN!!!  
  
With that they left the room and went into the back room. It appeared to be the bedroom, but the bed was pushed up ageist the wall and was being used as a karaoke stage. There were people dancing all over the room. Pansy and Harry were making out in the corner. At the microphone is George and Fred doing a rap duet to the song "Hot in Herre" by Nelly. (A/n: For all you F/G lovers!) Fred and George finish and come to talk to Hermione and Draco.  
  
Fred: Hey! WUUUSSSS UP?  
  
Hermione: ummm, not much. Why are you here?  
  
George: well, the joke shop was an utter and complete failure so we decided to be English Professional Wrestlers!!  
  
Fred: We make all our money by night by doing Karaoke at parties! Special request of Goyle that we perform tonight!  
  
Draco: Coolio!  
  
George: Yeah, Hey why don't you guys do a duet??  
  
Hermione: No, I don't think.  
  
Fred: Yeah, Hogworts favorite couple, even if they hate each other!  
  
Draco: YEAH!! Come on sugar, we can make Pansy jealous.  
  
Hermione: umm. Draco, I think she's moved on to Potter.  
  
Draco looks over to the corner where Harry and Pansy are making out.  
  
Draco: yes it would seem so.  
  
Hermione: But, I'll do it any way! What song do you want to sing??  
  
They look at the choices and choose to do "Summer Loven'" from Grease, mostly because It's the BEST Karaoke song ever!!!!! They had to have back up singers. Hermione choose Lavender and Basil and Draco choose Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
What people sing:  
  
(Hermione), ((Basil/Lavender)  
  
[Draco], [[Crabbe and Goyle]]  
  
And so they started.  
  
" [Summer lovin' had me a blast]  
  
(Summer lovin', happened so fast)  
  
[I met a girl crazy for me]  
  
(I met a boy, cute as can be)  
  
([Summer days driftin' away, to uh-oh those summer nights)]  
  
[[Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?]]  
  
((Tell me more, tell me more, like, does he have a car?))  
  
[She stood by me, she got a cramp]  
  
(He went by me, got my suit damp)  
  
[I saved her life, she nearly drowned]  
  
(he showed up, splashing around)  
  
[(Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those summer nights)]  
  
((Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?))  
  
[[Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?]]  
  
[Took her bowlin' in the Arcade]  
  
(we went strollin', drank lemonade)  
  
[We made out under the dock] -  
  
(we stayed up until ten o'clock)  
  
[(Summer fling don't mean a thing, but uh-oh those summer nights)]  
  
[[Tell me more, tell me more, that you don't got her preg]]  
  
((Tell me more, tell me more, cause he sounds like a drag))  
  
(He got friendly, holdin' my hand)  
  
[well she got friendly, down in the sand]  
  
(He was sweet, just turned eighteen)  
  
[well she was good, you know what I mean]  
  
[(Summer heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those summer nights)]  
  
((Tell me more, tell me more, how much dough did he spend?))  
  
[Tell me more, tell me more, could she get me a friend?]  
  
(It turned colder, that's where it ends) -  
  
[so I told her we'd still be friends]  
  
(Then we made our true love vow) -  
  
[wonder what she's doin' now]  
  
[(Summer dreams ripped at the seams, but oh, those summer nights)]  
  
[[((Tell me more, tell me more.))]] "  
  
The songs ends! They get off stage and go to talk to Fred and George.  
  
Fred: Wow, Hermione, Draco, that was great!! You guys have the material to go pro!  
  
Hermione: Thank you, thank you, autographs later!  
  
Draco: Hey, Mione. Were married, right?  
  
Hermione: Duh!  
  
Draco: Will you meet some of my friends? (puppy dog eyes)  
  
Hermione: Totally down wit that!  
  
They walk over to Basil and Crabbe. Goyle has gone into the front room.  
  
Draco: Hey!  
  
Crabbe: What's up my homie?  
  
Draco: Not much, not much. EWWWW what's this song?  
  
Pansy was on stage dancing around and singing to Kylie Minouge song "Can't get you outta my head" as she was "dance flirting" with Harry.  
  
Basil: "Can't get you outta my head" by Kylie Minouge. She had a hit or two back in the 80's I think.  
  
Hermione (emotionlessly) : and she never will again.  
  
Draco: That's right Honey! Hey, what's all that commotion?  
  
Crabbe: Oh dear! What is Parvatie doing here? She's supposed to be at home with the kids!  
  
Parvatie had indeed entered to room and was dragging Goyle behind her. Lavender was in silent tears. (Meaning she was way pissed off!) Parvatie entered the silent room and tied Goyle down in a chair. She took to Karaoke stage.  
  
Parvatie: This is for the one that got away, cause baby, I will survive!  
  
And with that she started to sing.  
  
"First I was afraid  
  
I was petrified  
  
Kept thinking I could never live  
  
without you by my side  
  
But I spent so many nights  
  
thinking how you did me wrong  
  
I grew strong  
  
I learned how to carry on  
  
and so you're back  
  
from outer space  
  
I just walked in to find you here  
  
with that sad look upon your face  
  
I should have changed my stupid lock  
  
I should have made you leave your key  
  
If I had known for just one second  
  
you'd be back to bother me  
  
Go on now go walk out the door  
  
just turn around now  
  
'cause you're not welcome anymore  
  
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye  
  
you think I'd crumble  
  
you think I'd lay down and die  
  
Oh no, not I  
  
I will survive  
  
as long as I know how to love  
  
I know I will stay alive  
  
I've got all my life to live  
  
I've got all my love to give  
  
and I'll survive  
  
I will survive  
  
It took all the strength I had  
  
not to fall apart  
  
kept trying hard to mend  
  
the pieces of my broken heart  
  
and I spent oh so many nights  
  
just feeling sorry for myself  
  
I used to cry  
  
Now I hold my head up high  
  
and you see me  
  
somebody new  
  
I'm not that chained up little person  
  
still in love with you  
  
and so you felt like dropping in  
  
and just expect me to be free  
  
now I'm saving all my loving  
  
for someone who's loving me"  
  
She finished to a silent room, still in awe of what she did. Then Goyle broke the silence.  
  
Goyle: ummm. Parvatie, I never even liked you.  
  
Parvatie: LAVENDER!!! Come here! I challenge you to a dance off!!!!  
  
Every one gasps! A dance off!!!!!!  
  
Lavender: Ok, I accept!!  
  
Parvatie: ok! Winner gets Goyle,  
  
Lavender: except for the fact that were married.  
  
Parvatie: shut up. Give me a beat!  
  
Goyle was at the turntables and started to play "Waiting for tonight" by Jennifer Lopez.  
  
"Like a movie scene  
  
In the sweetest dreams  
  
Have pictured us together  
  
Now to feel your lips  
  
On my fingertips  
  
I have to say is even better"  
  
Lavender started brake dancing!  
  
Parvatie: you little bitch, why didn't you tell me you knew how to brake dance.  
  
Lavender: You never asked!  
  
"Then I ever thought it could possibly be  
  
It's perfect, it's passion, it's setting me free  
  
From all of my sadness  
  
The tears that I've cried  
  
I have spent all of my life."  
  
Parvatie started to do a hip-hop dance. She was a very experienced dancer. Lavender did the moves right back. Every one was in a circle around them.  
  
  
  
"Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
When you would be here in my arms  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
I've dreamed of this love for so long  
  
Waiting for tonight  
  
Tender words you say  
  
Take my breath away  
  
Love me now, leave me never  
  
Found a sacred place  
  
Lost in your embrace  
  
I want to stay in this forever"  
  
Parvatie was starting to lose and Lavender knew it. She finished the last part of Pavatie's dance and hit the floor, spinning on her head.  
  
  
  
"I think of the days when the sun used to set  
  
On my empty heart, all alone in my bed  
  
Tossing and turning  
  
Emotions were strong  
  
I knew I had to hold on  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
When you would be here in my arms  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
I've dreamed of this love for so long  
  
Waiting for tonight  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
When you would be here in my arms  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
I've dreamed of this love for so long  
  
Waiting for tonight"  
  
Lavender almost had it.  
  
  
  
"Gone are the days when the sun used to set  
  
On my empty heart all alone in my bed  
  
Tossing and turning  
  
Emotions were strong  
  
I knew I had to hold on  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
When you would be here in my arms  
  
Waiting for tonight, oh  
  
I've dreamed of this love for so long  
  
Waiting for tonight"  
  
  
  
The song ended. And to the victor goes the spoils. Lavender won. She ran over to Goyle and gave him a big kiss. Crabbe grabbed Parvatie hand and led her out the door. He was muttering something about therapy. Every one else started to dance. Hermione and Draco left, they had to go to work tomorrow anyways.  
  
  
  
END SCENE  
  
Hey! Did ya like??? I tried to be creative with the dance off. Next chapter, every one goes to work. I figured out the plot, and it doesn't pick up until after Hermione gives birth, we will try to move things along. PLEASE R/R!!!!!!!!!  
  
Much love and peace  
  
~Pink~ 


	6. AN pleze read! sorry its not a chapter!

Hi ya'll. Felt I needed to post a little note.  
  
  
  
First, I have a plot, I PROMISE!!! It will come after Hermione gives birth to the 'kids' though, and I need to set it up also!  
  
  
  
Next, school started today so updates may be few and far between, One or two a week maybe.  
  
  
  
Also, I'm going outta town for Labor Day, so no updates then either.  
  
  
  
Last. THANK YOU ALL REVIEWERS! You all seriously kick ass!  
  
  
  
MUCH LOVE!!  
  
~~PINK~~  
  
Pleze vote on weather the baby should be boys or girls or both (twins, remember)!  
  
Thank you! 


	7. Harry's one true love, and Dracos tofu d...

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry about not updating. First school started and then I went on vacation, so here it is, another chappy. Thank you's go out to:  
  
HyperKat- Thank you for taking the time to read and review my story! (cries tears of joy)  
  
Fallen-Angel- Hermione says thank you!  
  
dobbie-luvs-sweeties- Thank you! It is strange because I'm a strange person! MUHAHAHAHAHA! But seriously, thank you!  
  
Tayetatsu Tomitoki- sorry for taking so damn long, im a very lazy person. You will now find out if it's a boy or girl!!!  
  
Glory- Book fetish, I'll have to remember that.  
  
Now that that's outta the way its time for my lovely.  
  
DISCLAIMER!: If you think that I'm J.K.R. then go to the nearest bridge and jump off! (Heeheehee)  
  
Chapter six!  
  
  
  
SCENE: It is morning and Hermione is walking around the kitchen of the house, she seems to be in June (correct me if im wrong) Cleavers body. She has on a blue maternity dress and has her hair pulled into a tight bun. The radio is on and it's Goyle!!! The song is "Because I got high" by Afroman. Hermione is singing along to the radio.  
  
Hermione & Radio: Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.  
  
  
  
Hermione is making waffles for Draco who is coming down the stairs. He has on a run of the mill suit and a red tie.  
  
Draco: Hello honey!  
  
Hermione: Hello baby! All ready for your first day of work?  
  
Draco: Yes, and I am ever so much looking forward to it!  
  
Hermione: That's good because I have a treat for you.   
  
  
  
They sit down.  
  
Draco (helping himself to waffles): What is it?  
  
Hermione: Tofu dogs for lunch!!  
  
She held up his lunch. It was in a brown paper bag with is name on.  
  
Draco: Yippy Skippy!  
  
Hermione: I knew that you would love it!  
  
Draco: ok babe, I gotta go, I'll call you soon!  
  
Hermione: bye sweetie!  
  
He leaves  
  
  
  
Cut to a Draco sitting in a cubical. There is a phone and a computer. There are a few pictures. One of him and Hermione, one of his family, and another of just Hermione in which she is wearing a short top that shows off her stomach. These aren't wizard pictures because they are in the muggle world. Draco is typing into the computer. The clock strikes noon and he picks up his sack lunch and goes to the cafeteria. He sits down at a table and starts to eye his tofu dog happily! Some one comes and sits down next to him. It's a very hung over Harry!  
  
Harry: Hello Draco, I didn't know you worked here!  
  
Draco: yeah, its ever so much fun! I wish I were truly a muggle!  
  
Harry: Wow, that's progress! How's Hermione?  
  
Draco: Oh, she's doing very well. She is a romance novelist so she's at home. We also have our first obstetrician appointment today. We get to find out the sex of the babies.  
  
Harry: cool!  
  
Draco: How are you and Pansy?  
  
Harry (stands on the chair): She is for sure the love of my life. My heart sings with joy when I see her bright shining face! Love is beckoning and I follow open heartedly! (He sits down again and turns to Draco) I have the utmost faith that we will get married!  
  
Draco: umm ok, hey, Hermione wants a wedding ring, do you know where to get one?  
  
Harry: I'm going to go to Tiffany. Pansy says every girl dreams of a rock from tiffany!  
  
Draco: Sounds great! I'll pick it up and surprise her!  
  
  
  
END OF SCENE!  
  
Sorry, a bit of writers block!!!  
  
Next one will be up this weekend and it will be a shitload longer, sorta a prelude!  
  
If you wanna suggest a name then please do so. I feel bad for not updating, so it isn't as long as I would have hopes, but yeah!  
  
REVIEW DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!  
  
~~pink~~ 


	8. the plot is forming, dr WHO?

Sorry last chappy was short! I promise to redeem myself!!!! Sorry, school sucks a shit load! This will get longer, also its gonna be a humor/ Parody. Sorta, its like the movie sugar and spice, but much much much different. Did I just give away to much. I THINK NOT! Even if you think you know what's going to happen you are mistaken MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ect. Ect. Ect. This is written the same day and I do have another review but ff.net isn't being nice to me and it wont show me my new review so lets cut the crap and move on.  
  
Disclaimer: I am not a writer. I am an insane child. The Harry Potter book also have plots, like this sadly doesn't have (not yet) so let's add the clues together and say that this isn't mine!!! HAHA excellent deduction Sherlock!  
  
Chapter Seven (oh, my little ficcy is growing up!)  
  
  
  
SCENE: Draco is returning to the house early at three o' clock so that he and Hermione can go to the obstetrician. He has the famed sea foam green/blue Tiffany's bag in his hands (A/N: Yes! I am obsessed!) He goes into the house. Hermione is sitting at the kitchen table she is eating a tofu dog and is typing away feverishly. She has on a pair of loose fitting army pants and a white tank top. Her hair is in a very low loose fitting ponytail.  
  
Draco: Honey, I'm home!  
  
Hermione jumps up to meet him and gives him a big hug.  
  
Hermione: Oh, I missed you ever so much!  
  
Draco: I missed you to babe. What did you write about today?  
  
Hermione: A heart felt Novel about two people who are bitter enemies who fall in love and produce two desks!  
  
Draco: but you have to sell it in the muggle world!  
  
Hermione shrugs. She notices the bag in Draco's hand. She squeals in anticipation!  
  
Hermione: OOH OOH!!!! TIFFANY!!!  
  
Draco: only the best for you!  
  
He takes out the ring. It's a huge diamond. Draco puts it on her hand.  
  
Draco: Its 13 carats! Only the best for you!  
  
Hermione: OH! Thank you!!  
  
They kiss and then leave to go to the obstetrician appointment.  
  
  
  
(A/n: sorry that this part is a tiny bit boring, had to add some plot!)  
  
  
  
Cut to Draco and Hermione sitting in the obstetrician office. The doctor comes in. Her obstetrician is. Neville!!!  
  
Neville (looking at a form): Hello Mr. and Mrs. WHOA! Malfoy??  
  
Hermione: That's right!!!  
  
Neville: wow, ok. Well Hermione you are six months along and we are at the point where we can tell you the sex of your.ahem, babies. Do you want to know the sex of the babies when we look at the ultrasound?  
  
Draco: Yes! I do ever so much hope that they are boys!  
  
Hermione rolls her eyes. The rest of the appointment progresses smoothly. Then they do the ultrasound. Hermione's huge stomach is bulging out. They start the ultra sound.  
  
Neville: Well, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, it seems that your babies are boys and girls!!!! Congratulations!  
  
Hermione: wow, that was really unexpected!  
  
Draco: totally, really not suprising!  
  
Neville: umm guys maybe we need to jazz it up a bit?  
  
Draco: Yeah, this is staring to become a boring fic.  
  
Hermione: I totally know! I'm so going to go see if there is something new in the Action/Adventure section! (Hermione gets hit it the head with a rotton apple) HEY!  
  
Draco: Yeah, lets re do this!  
  
All: OK  
  
  
  
REWIND!  
  
Neville: Well, Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, it seems that your babies are boy Siamese twins! (A/n: bet you weren't expecting that!!!!)  
  
Hermione: No shit??  
  
Neville: No shit!  
  
Draco: How can she have freak children! I wont allow it!!!!!!  
  
Neville: Draco, your over reacting! This is a simple situation. First we induce Hermione's labor and then we do a c-section to get them out. We then perform corrective surgery to get them out. Simple as ABC.  
  
Hermione: sounds ok to me. When will we induce the labor?  
  
Neville: Well, not for another two months.  
  
Draco: well, that sounds ok to me, how about you baby?  
  
Hermione: Ok, see you next month Dr. Longbottom! \\  
  
Neville: See ya then.  
  
  
  
END OF SCENE!!!  
  
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I feel so evil right now! Just had that sick twisted thought that they should be Siamese twins. Wow, I just wrote a lot of plot!!!! Hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter up by ummm. Let aim for Monday? Hope you love.  
  
By the way I read the reviews for last chapter!  
  
couch-potato- Thank you for reviewing! It is weird and that's the way I like it!  
  
The other person didn't leave a name, but thank you mystery reader, and I believe in you (don't ask)! Also I got my first flame! I feel so accomplished. *Sheds a tear * NOT!!!!!! I have already started I don't care if you flame! HAHAHAHAHAHA. I beat you!  
  
REVIEW!!!  
  
Much love!  
  
~~Pink~~ 


	9. Interlude to more insaneity

Hello all loyal readers! Three chapters in one weekend!! Hell yeah! I got sorta a new Idea for this chapter. I have to progress farther in time, but I don't really want to get to the childbirth yet, I'd rather make you suffer!!! MUHAHAHA! I'm just to lazy to add that much plot. But really. I have to give updates on all the supporting cast, and I wanna write something easy and fun, so here we are! Reviewers:  
  
Tayetatsu Tomitoki - Thank you for reading and feeding my ego with these lovely complements!  
  
KAOS- I do take bribes!!! Thank you for your suggestions!! I really like Xaden!  
  
michelle palmer- Thank you, Thank you!!!  
  
Here we go!  
  
Disclaimer: lets make this easy. I DON'T OWN IT!!!  
  
  
  
Chapter Seven!!  
  
  
  
Scene: Small ensembles of people come out. They include: Dean, Seamus, Millicent, plus Fred and George.  
  
Lilpinkbunny: OK! I have to progress through the next month, to help me do so are some characters who really don't have a part in the story. So here they are.  
  
Dean: Hello, lets get started.  
  
  
  
They are dressed as a barbershop quartet. And they start to sing.  
  
  
  
Ensemble:  
  
So the next month went by,  
  
And oh my, my  
  
These characters aren't shy.  
  
Draco and Hermione tried just to get by.  
  
And my how they tried!  
  
They didn't have a guide,  
  
And now im out of rhymes!!!!  
  
  
  
Millicent: Basically Hermione finished a story about two children who were turned into desks, and there parents struggle to love again.  
  
Seamus: Draco went to work  
  
Dean: and spoiled Hermione rotten.  
  
Fred: They went to Doctor Neville and Hermione was healthy pregnant,  
  
George: and then they got an owl, and that's where we find them now.  
  
  
  
The ensemble leaves the stage. The curtain goes up to see a very large Hermione eating a tofu dog for breakfast and Draco eating an English muffin. An owl fly's in and drops a letter on the table.  
  
Draco: Oh, a letter. We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, I wonder who its from. (He opens it up) Oh, it's from one of our friends!  
  
Hermione: Hon, you really need to cut back on all those Blues Clues episodes.  
  
Draco ignores this and read the letter.  
  
Draco: It's from Dumbledor. We have a dinner party at this restaurant in London. Sorta like a class reunion type of thing! Fun! And, oh, hey, it's Black Tie!!!  
  
Hermione: wow! Sounds like fun. I can't wait to see every one again! I wonder how poor Parvatie is doing. I have to go shopping with Lavender! OOOH! I cant wait.  
  
Draco: Neither can I!  
  
  
  
END SCENE  
  
Sorry that wasn't very long, but I just wanted this to be an interlude. Longer chappy next time.  
  
REVIEW!!!! And suggest more names!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~~Pink~~ 


	10. A black tie affair! with a few twists! g...

HI! I'm back! I'm sorry about last chapter, sorta a bad one, didn't even get a review, that's ok cause this will be long and then its gonna be time to birth some babies!!!! Hee hee hee! Ok so here we go.  
  
Disclaimer: this is really getting old.  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
  
  
Scene: Hermione is cooking dinner in the kitchen. It is the Friday before the party and the party is on Saturday. She is wearing the most hideous dress ever seen. Its long and plaid and has a turtleneck collier. Hermione is crying and Draco enters. He is carrying 2-shoe boxes, 2 suit hangers, with covers, and a big bag.  
  
Draco: Lucy, I'm home!  
  
Hermione: Oh Rickey, BAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Hermione cries hysterically. Draco puts down his boxes and walks over to her.  
  
Draco: Hon, really, what's wrong?  
  
Hermione: I have to ware this hideous dress, cause it's the only dress that I have, and I cant afford to buy a new one cause we need all the money for the twins' surgery. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Draco: Babe, don't cry! I already knew that you would have no descent dress to ware, and remember, your Mrs. Malfoy, so you can be seen like that! So I went out and bought you a dress and shoes and a purse and a coat! I got my tux. Plus I got you a little something special. So don't cry babe.  
  
Hermione(drying her eyes): Ok, can I see the dress.  
  
Draco: sure.  
  
He opens up the first dress hanger.  
  
Draco: Hermione Granger Malfoy, you are the proud owner of a new Alberta Ferretti Burgundy beaded dress!!!!!!! It's a Silk dress with bead and sequin detail and raw edged frills! I got it in a special maternity size. Now to match you new dress you have a new pair of Dolce&gabbana Black strappy heels! |Fabric strap highs with velvet and silver instep and a 4'' shaped | |heel has ankle strap!!! I don't know if you can wear heels that | |High, or even get your huge swollen feet into them, but hell, It's| |worth a try!!! Next we have Renaud Pellegrino | |Beaded bag!!! Cute pelligrino beautiful beaded bag with a touch of| |Burgundy. |  
  
And to top off the look you will receive a Dolce&gabbana black coat! Smart feminine styled wool angora dolce and gabbana coat in a black color with double breasted front and signature lining! But wait, that's not all! On top of that I have us scheduled to spend the after noon at a spa where you will revive a facemask, manicure/pedicure, Hair, nails, and the newly wed couple mud bath!!!!!!  
  
Hermione (jumping up to hug Draco): OH! Thank you baby! Did I tell you today that I love you?  
  
Draco: yeah!  
  
They ran off to the kitchen and ate a wonderful dinner of tofu dogs. Hermione blissfully forgot that she and Draco were now blissfully broke, however will they dig them selves outta this one? I don't know, but lets fast forward to the party.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Hermione is walking down the staircase of their house, Draco awaits at the bottom. Hermione looks like a preg supermodel.  
  
Draco: Hermione! You look ravishing!!!  
  
Hermione: Thank you Draco, you look dashing!  
  
Draco: I rented us a limo to take us to the party, lets go!  
  
On the way to the party Draco and Hermione sat in the limo. Draco sipped Champagne, Hermione could not, because she was preg, so she drank an Evian water. They soon arrived at the party. They went into see that people were just starting to arrive. The first people they saw were Harry and Pansy. Harry and Draco had become chummy because of work!  
  
Harry: Draco, my man! What's up?  
  
Draco: Oh, not much, how are things on the home front?  
  
Pansy: Well, we have big news! I'm Pregnant!!!!!  
  
Hermione: umm Pans. you know that you don't have a transfigured desk inside of you, right, your kid is real!  
  
Harry: We know, but its ok cause were also engaged!!!!!!  
  
Pansy holds up her ring triumphantly. It was a great deal smaller then Hermione's.  
  
Draco: Wow! That's fast! Its only been a month.  
  
Pansy: yes, but were just so in love!!! And-  
  
But pansy didn't get the chance to finish the sentence, because two of the best looking people walked into the room. It appeared to be Lavender and Goyle, but you couldn't really tell. Hermione and Draco excused themselves and went over to them.  
  
Draco: umm, hi?  
  
He was caught off guard because of what Lavender was wearing; it was a green dress that had a plunging neckline that went bellow her belly button. (A/N: Like J. LO wore to the Grammies a few years ago.) Goyle wore a suit that was made of the finest material and had a tie that said 'Sean John' on it.  
  
Hermione: wow, you guys look fly?  
  
Lavender: why thank you! I didn't know that people were going to make this big of a deal outta my dress, Goyle picked it out.  
  
Goyle: hello! And I see we are all wearing our flyest shit! Babe, let get our boogie on!  
  
Lavender: Ok, I'm dying to shake my bootie! Cause ya know, I'm just a girl from the Bronx, and I love to shake my bootie!  
  
Hermione: umm, Lave, your from London.  
  
They were on the floor. Next came Neville.  
  
Neville: Hello Hermione, Draco.  
  
Hermione: Dr. Longbottom, what a pleasant surprise to see you here! Well, were gonna go dance! Bye!  
  
Draco dragged Hermione onto the dance floor. She looked to the stage! It was Fred and George. They were gonna go Karaoke. They danced to the rap song "Diddy" by p.diddy. Goyle and Lavender were watched by every one.  
  
|Yeah | |Its Bad Boy Baby | |Neptunes | |And we won't stop | |(I like that) 'Cause we can't stop | |Yeah | |Let me tell you something | | | |[Verse I] | |Sometimes I rhyme slow, sometimes I | |rhyme quick | |I was on 1-2-5 and Saint Nich | |Chillin' with these chick | |Named Tondalea | |Was a hot girl and everybody wanted | |to slay her | |She wasn't fond of players | |Only wanted ballers | |To spoil her | |Six figures and camcorders | |So what you trying to tell me dear | |I got Bentley, Benz send in Mr. | |Belvedere | |I just want to blow your mind | |I'm talkin' literally blow your mind| | | |My repratoir is Menage Trois | |And exotic cars chilling with the | |hottest stars | |And it ain't no stopping this | |I can't help it I'm an optomist | |And Ima make ya head bop to this | |And at the end you gon rock to this | | | |Now say my name | | | |[Hook-Neptunes] | |Its the D the I the D the D the Y | |The D the I the D | |It's Diddy, (Hold Up) It's Diddy | |(That's crazy) | |It's the D the I the D the D the Y | |The D the I the D | |Its Diddy, (Hold Up), It's Diddy | |(Say What!) | | | |[Verse II] | |Ay yo, I came in the door | |I said it before | |I never the ladiez hyptonize me no | |more | |But, back to the manuscript | |'Cause I don't think you can handle | |this | |From New York to Los Angles | |I think the whole world scandalous | |I'm just trying to keep the candles | |lit | |Make the party people dance to this | | | |Get out your seat and clap your | |hands to this | |Cause I came too far | |For me to be bouswar | |It's a Bently to you, to me it's a | |blue car | |So Branson pass me a jar | |Cause these cats done went too far | |One phone call send two cars | |And still get searched by security | |guards | |I guess that's what I have to do | |Take the game international | |Now what you call me | | | |[Hook Repeat] | | | |(La La La La La La La La La La La | |La) | |C'mon work it out girl | |I'm trying to see you work it out | |girl | |(La La La La La La La La La La La | |La) | |C'mon work it out girl | |I wanna see you work it out girl | | | |[Verse III] | |Now hold up, stop, wait a minute | |We don't stop we rock cause ain't a | |limit | |My aim is winning | |Got asian women | |That'll change my linen | |After I done blazed and hit em | |But I just wanna rock wit you | |And take it straight to the top with| |you | |And do what I gots to do | |If it's possible | |Cause I ain't trying to stop you boo| | | |I got an agenda | |Got on a ninja | |One wheelin' and killin' it not to | |offend ya | |That's when I met this chick named | |Brenda | |Tender, her whole body bend like | |fender | |So let me see you shake it girl | |I just wanna see you shake it girl | |For the return of the don | |The world in my palm | |My mom calls me Sean | |But y'all call me | | | |[Hook Repeat] | |(La La La La La La La La La La La) | |C'mon work it out girl | |(La La La La La La La La La La La) | |I wanna see you work it out girl |  
  
The song was over. Every one was tied. Dumbledor, in a suit, took the stage  
  
Dumbledor: everyone pleze sit down! Ok, before dinner starts I just want to say that many people have been asking about Parvatie. I am pleased to inform you that she will be leaving the rehab faculty soon.  
  
Applause.  
  
Dumbledor: ok lets eat!!!  
  
Every one ate a huge meal. Then they hit the floor for dancing. The first song was slow and Draco and Hermione danced together. The perfect setting for Hogworts perfect couple.  
  
|Take a bow, the night is over | |This masquerade is getting older | |Light are low, the curtains down | |There's no one here | |[There's no one here, there's no one| |in the crowd] | |Say your lines but do you feel them | | | |Do you mean what you say when | |there's no one around [no one | |around] | |Watching you, watching me, one | |lonely star | |[One lonely star you don't know who | |you are] | | | |Chorus: | | | |I've always been in love with you | |[always with you] | |I guess you've always known it's | |true [you know it's true] | |You took my love for granted, why oh| |why | |The show is over, say good-bye | | | |Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye| | | | | |Make them laugh, it comes so easy | |When you get to the part | |Where you're breaking my heart | |[breaking my heart] | |Hide behind your smile, all the | |world loves a clown | |[Just make 'em smile the whole world| |loves a clown] | |Wish you well, I cannot stay | |You deserve an award for the role | |that you played [role that you | |played] | |No more masquerade, you're one | |lonely star | |[One lonely star and you don't know | |who you are] | |Take a bow, the night is over | |This masquerade is getting older | |Light are low, the curtains down | |There's no one here | |[There's no one here, there's no | |one in the crowd] | |Say your lines but do you feel them| | | |Do you mean what you say when | |there's no one around [no one | |around] | |Watching you, watching me, one | |lonely star | |[One lonely star you don't know who| |you are] | | | |Chorus: | | | |I've always been in love with you | |[always with you] | |I guess you've always known it's | |true [you know it's true] | |You took my love for granted, why | |oh why | |The show is over, say good-bye | | | |Say good-bye [bye bye], say | |good-bye | | | |Make them laugh, it comes so easy | |When you get to the part | |Where you're breaking my heart | |[breaking my heart] | |Hide behind your smile, all the | |world loves a clown | |[Just make 'em smile the whole | |world loves a clown] | |Wish you well, I cannot stay | |You deserve an award for the role | |that you played [role that you | |played] | |No more masquerade, you're one | |lonely star | |[One lonely star and you don't know| |who you are] |  
  
Fred and George would not utter a word further because at that moment Hermione got a look of pain on her face. Her contractions were starting. Her water was broken, and people were going crazy!  
  
Hermione: OH MY GOD!!!!! NEVILLE!!!!! You said that we would be able to induce labor!!!  
  
Draco: Stay calm Hon! NEVILLE, get the limo. We have to get to the hospital so we can do the c-section!!! Lets go!!!!!!!  
  
With that they ran out of the door. Fred and Geogre picked up where they left off and finished.  
  
chorus, repeat)  
  
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye  
  
All the world is a stage [world is a stage]  
  
And everyone has their part [has their part]  
  
But how was I to know which way the story'd go  
  
How was I to know you'd break  
  
[You'd break, you'd break, you'd break]  
  
You'd break my heart  
  
I've always been in love with you  
  
[I've always been in love with you]  
  
Guess you've always known  
  
You took my love for granted, why oh why  
  
The show is over, say good-bye  
  
(chorus)  
  
Say good-bye [bye bye], say good-bye  
  
Say good-bye  
  
No one listened to the end of the song, craziness had broken out. Lavender was pissed because she wasn't being paid attention to, Pansy and Harry were in the women's bathroom (what they were doing will be undisclosed info) And Goyle was rapping to himself, thinking of new things for his radio show, AND every one else was worried about Hermione!  
  
END OF SCENE!!!  
  
Wont be updated till next weekend probably, anyways!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!!  
  
Do ya get the message????  
  
I have decided on names!!!!  
  
Much peace and happiness!  
  
~~Pink~~ | | 


	11. A child named sunflower

Hello!!!! Thank you all for reviewing.  
  
SweetWater- Thank you for reviewing not once, but twice!!! Yes, I can be persuasive.  
  
Otome the anonymous reviewer- On the other hand. you rock!!! I try to write funny!  
  
TzAmZ - YOU really rock!!! 8 reviews form one person; think the other ppl should be taken notes. Hee hee! JK!!! I am updating soon, and I'm sorta steeling your idea, do you forgive me?????   
  
Next order of biz. This is a short interlude to more action. After this chapter this will become a parody in a way. Think I said that already. Anyways. I found the dress and accessories for Hermione off this site called http://www.designerexposure.com it's a cool site. The pic of the dress was taken down, sorta just a fun site to browse. Here we go with the interlude.  
  
Disclaimer: The very little plot that is there is mine, everything else isn't.  
  
Chapter Nine!!!!!  
  
Scene: Hermione and Draco are standing in front of the nice restaurant. Hermione is in labor and is cursing everyone in the world, especially Albus Dumbledor who is standing next to her. Neville is getting the lime. Lavender and Goyle and Crabbe and Harry are standing with them in the corner, Because Hermione isn't in a good mood and she is yelling at everyone within a 5-foot radius of her. Suddenly Neville comes running across the parking lot.  
  
Draco: Umm, Neville, you forgot one important thing. THE LIMO!!!!!  
  
Neville: The limo driver said that he was scared of pregnant women.  
  
Hermione: WHAT THE HELL!!! What did he think I was when we got in, FAT???? Damnit!!!!  
  
Draco: Hon, just calm down.  
  
Hermione: That's what you say! You don't have a pair of Siamese desks in you! Screw it, I'm walking.  
  
Neville: Hermione, You can't do that you'll never make it!!!! You'll have the babies in a dark ally with a homeless man checken' you out. He'll kidnap you and the kid and bring you to America, where he will make you work at Wal Mart for your whole life. He'll name the kid Sunflower and you will be forced to live in the Midwest!!!! You'll pick up an American accent! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Blink  
  
Blink blink  
  
Crabbe clears his throat  
  
Long pause  
  
Goyle does the loser cough.  
  
  
  
  
  
Neville: sorry, bad dream re-lived, damn.  
  
Hermione: take a damn chill pill!  
  
Crabbe: Don't do that, remember what happened the last time.  
  
Every one has a reflective moment.  
  
Hermione: OH shut up. I can't walk there anyways. I'd kill my self! We'll have to hitch hike, it seems.  
  
Draco: Well, I'm up for it. Who's coming?  
  
Neville: Well, me, you two, Crabbe, Goyle and Lavender, All the rest of you ok staying?  
  
Harry: I'm fine; I have to make out with Pansy anyways.  
  
Dumbledor: I'm better get back to the party, good luck you two.  
  
  
  
  
  
With that Hermione, Neville, Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Lavender (all still dressed up mind you) made there way to the highway. They all had their thumbs in the air and it was only a matter of time before someone in a Winnebago stopped to pick them up. It was Fred and George!!!!!!  
  
Fred: Hey, what seems to be the prob?  
  
Draco: Hermione's in Labor, the limo driver ran away because he's afraid of pregnant women and we need a ride to the hospital.  
  
George: so basically the same ole same ole?  
  
Hermione: Yeah, I guess! NOW ALL YA'LL GET YER BLOOMEN ASSES IN THE CAR SO WE CAN GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!  
  
Fred: Hey! A woman with a mission, I like it!  
  
With that they speed off to the hospital!  
  
  
  
END OF SCENE  
  
I hope that you like.  
  
DON'T THINK ABOUT READING WITH OUT REVIEWING!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hahahahahahahahahahaha  
  
So next chappy is the one with all the child birthen' magic (no pun intended). Hope you all stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~~pink~~ 


	12. The big chappie you've all been waiting ...

Ok, this is the big chapter that every one is waiting for. I have had a few requests to make it longer, and I will try.  
  
I have to give a shout out to my #1 reviewer. TzAmZ!!! U rock! And also to serasivad. All the people who ever review, you all rock!  
  
Here we go.  
  
Disclaimer: This isn't mine, It's not yours either, HAHAHA!!!!  
  
Chapter TEN!!!!!!!!  
  
Scene: Draco, Hermione, Goyle, Crabbe, Neville, and Lavender are all now sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. It is a lite blue color that makes Hermione want to throw up. Hermione is still bitchmionie. They are sitting in the chairs waiting for the nurse  
  
Draco: Neville, I can't believe they didn't believe you when you said that you were an obstetrician.  
  
Hermione (sarcastically): yes, cause Neville is just *the * smartest guy I know.  
  
Neville: It's ok you guys. They're doing a check for me in the computer. We'll be in, in no time. I promise Hermione that we will get those Siamese desks outta you!  
  
Every one in the room stares.  
  
Neville: anyways. Here comes the Nurse.  
  
  
  
The Nurse is a preg. women 2! But only like 6 months so she can still work.  
  
Nurse: Ok, Neville, you pass; just remember your pass next time. Come with me Hermione and Draco. The rest of you stay here, Dr. Longbottom, prepare for surgery.  
  
Neville: Righto!  
  
He runs off in the other direction. Hermione and Draco are led down a long wide hallway to a room.  
  
Nurse: This is you room. Dr. Longbottom is going to prepare for surgery. This is what you should do to get ready for surgery. (She continues to talk about what they are going to do. Hermione becomes very impatient.) And Then-  
  
Hermione (interrupting): I'm sorry, but can we get these damn babies outta me now!  
  
Nurse: I know your pain.  
  
Hermione: yeah yeah.  
  
Nurse: I'll leave you two here to prepare. Dr. Longbottom will be here soon.  
  
With that the nurse leaves and Hermione starts to get ready. Draco sits on the bed and watches Hermione change. (A/N: Ok you caught me. I don't know how to prepare for a c-section, or what the real procedure is. I will probably be making it all up off of what I have seen on A Baby Story, so pleze DON'T flame b/c I don't know all the facts about a c-section.)  
  
Draco: Hermione, has it hit you yet? Were going to be parents, together, with our kids. Our twins!  
  
Hermione: wow Draco you just noticed??  
  
Draco: Come on Mione, you know what I mean.  
  
Hermione (turns around to face Draco): yeah I do know. I just feel weird, I don't know about this whole childbirth thing.  
  
Draco: well, sorry, but it's a little too late for an abortion.  
  
Hermione (laughs): yeah, you're right. I just hope were good parents.  
  
Draco (hugging Hermione): We will be.  
  
They hug for a few seconds before breaking apart.  
  
Draco: Plus, your tits are gonna be huge!  
  
Wak.  
  
Draco it's the ground. Hermione has hit him and he is getting a huge bruise on the side of his face. Hermione is standing over him and starting to have another contraction. Draco is out cold. Neville runs in.  
  
Neville: Hermione, were ready for you, get on this. Damn, why is Draco out cold?  
  
Hermione: He tried to make a move on me.  
  
Neville: Ok, Nurse!!!!  
  
The Preg. Nurse appears.  
  
Nurse: Yes?  
  
Neville: Bring a stretcher for Mr. Malfoy. It seems his wife has knocked him out. He will be in the room when the surgery is taking place, I don't think his injury is fatal.  
  
Nurse: Ok.  
  
They bring a stretcher for Draco and load him onto it. Then the whole entourage went to the surgery room. They arrived there and it looked just like a room where they would perform surgery. Wow, big surprise there.  
  
Neville: Hermione, we are going to numb the area where we will cut into you to take the babies out. Ok?  
  
Hermione: Ok.  
  
Neville: Lets put Draco's head up here near Hermione just in case he wakes up. Right. Here We go.  
  
Neville proceeded to set up a curtain so that Hermione could not see the incision. He numbed her and was about ready to start to cut to get the twins out when Draco woke up.  
  
Draco: Hello??????? What the hell????  
  
Hermione: Hi babe. I'm havening the c-section.  
  
Draco: Ummm. why am I here? Like this? On a stretcher? Owwie.  
  
Hermione: You said I'm gonna have big breasts after the babies are born.  
  
Draco (a sudden smile comes across his face): Oh, yeah.  
  
Neville starts the incision. The Nurse sees that Draco is up.  
  
Nurse: Mr. Malfoy. I suggest that you stay lying down. You were knocked out. Were gonna have the babies out soon.  
  
Draco: umm, Great. Hey, Hermione Guess what I just thought of??  
  
Hermione: What, a way to save Money?  
  
Draco: Yeah, We wont have to buy milk anymore, babies and I can just suck it right outta.  
  
But, alas, Draco didn't get to finish his crude though. For at that time the Nurse knocked him out again.  
  
Hermione: GODS! Thank you, I thought it would never end. I can't stand it.  
  
Nurse: I know, but he does have a legit thought. I have twelve kids and we used my milk to cut back with.  
  
Hermione: Really, wow, we could do that. The twins surgery is gonna.  
  
OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Draco wakes up again.  
  
Draco: What is it doll face?  
  
Hermione: Draco, we don't have enough money to pay for the surgery for the kids. We spent it on that dress. What.  
  
  
  
But Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by a crying bundle of joy.  
  
Neville: Hermione. We have them out. They are joined at the hip, literally. (A/N: Sorry, it's so cheesy, I had to add it in)  
  
Hermione (her eyes well up with tears.) ooooooooh!!!!!!  
  
The doctors take the babies away and do the normal procedures that come after childbirth. Then they hand the babies over to Hermione.  
  
Hermione: Oh there so sweet.  
  
Draco and Hermione admire the new babies. The girl has dark blonde hair and silver eyes, and the boy has silver hair and silver eyes.  
  
Hermione: No fair, they look like you!!!  
  
Draco: What can I say, I'm so stunning!  
  
Hermione: Well, yeah.  
  
She leans over and kisses Draco. They stop after a few seconds and starts cooing at the babies. The present fiscal issues forgotten.  
  
SCENE ENDS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sorry it took so long. I have three papers to write this week, so this was low on the list of priorities. I hope that you liked it. I had minor writer block, and I don't think it was as funny as some past chapters, but I try. Next chapter this will become a full-fledged Parody. I hope that you liked this chapter. So now for the usual plea.  
  
  
  
REVIEW OR I WILL DIE A SLOE AND PAINFUL DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Thank you..  
  
~~PINK~~ 


	13. The Plan and the names

I know that this is a bit of a surprise, a little early, but I was bored. So here we go. This will have a ton of plot.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, just this plot.  
  
Chapter Eleven!!!  
  
Scene: Draco and Hermione are in Hermione's hospital room one day after the birth of their babies. Hermione Is in the bed and Draco is strattling her and they are making out. Hee hee hee! They have found a new sense of love in there relationship, even if they are being brought together over siamese desks. Neville walks in.  
  
Neville: Hermione, Draco, I have good news!!!  
  
Draco climbs down off of Hermione and sits on the side of the bed. He is wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. Hermione is wearing a pair of stretchy yoga pants and a red ribbed tank top.  
  
Hermione: What's up Doc??  
  
Neville: A lot is up Hermione! I was just informed that the twins could receive their surgery next week. As you know, this is a bit earlier then was expected. SO that's good. You just need sigh forms (A/N: That's all I ever do at the hospital, sigh forms) and contact your healthcare provider about payment.  
  
Draco: Do we have healthcare???  
  
(A/N: They don't have Health care b/c Draco's job came with no benefits)  
  
Neville (shocked): Please tell me you have health care, if you don't then, god, it'll cost tons of money. And lets just say that I saw that dress that Hermione was wearing when she went into labor, and it was hellishly expensive if I'm not mistaken.  
  
Hermione (lying): umm.Yeah, We don't have healthcare, but I know that we have the money. We've been saving, and I sold a story.  
  
Neville: Good, It will be a very expensive surgery.  
  
Draco: Yes we know.  
  
Neville: Good, I was also asked to get the names to put on the birth certificates. DO you have them yet?  
  
Hermione: Well, were still not sure.  
  
Draco: Yes we are. (Turns to Neville) There names are Draco jr. and Girl Draco.  
  
Neville: SURE. (Turns to Hermione) so you still haven't agreed on names.  
  
Hermione: We haven't decided, but we will soon.  
  
Neville: Ok, I'll let you guys get back to what you were doing.  
  
Draco: Yippy Skippy!  
  
  
  
Draco takes his place on Hermione again and Neville leaves.  
  
Hermione (pushing Draco off): Draco, really, we have to think of baby names AND a way to make money!!! We don't have time for that.  
  
Draco: Ok, we'll think of names.  
  
  
  
Suddenly the phone rings.  
  
Hermione picks it up.  
  
Hermione: Hello? Who is this?  
  
KAOS: OH OH OH NAMES I KNOW!! MEE MEE PICK MEEE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hermione (in shock): Ok, you can pick, god. what should we call the boy??  
  
KAOS: Xaden (said like zaden)!! I do like that name!!  
  
Hermione: Ok, whatever.  
  
Hermione hangs up the phone.  
  
Draco: Ok so the boy will be called Xaden, what should we call the girl??  
  
Hermione: well, I've always liked the name Eden, what about that.  
  
Draco: hum. Xaden and Eden. OOH, they sound exotic.  
  
Hermione: Good. Now we need a really good plan. What shall it be?  
  
Draco: well, we need money fast. Hey only thing that I can think of is steeling it.  
  
Hermione: I don't really want to do that.  
  
Draco: Come on, you know you want to!!!  
  
Hermione: Your right, But when and where and how???  
  
Draco: for that we must gather an elite group of men.  
  
Hermione: umm, ok whatever. Really we should never have gone to see that movie Oceans 11.  
  
Draco: Come on Hermione, Brad Pitt is so hot right now, we had to go.  
  
Hermione (rolling eyes): So who are we gonna get to help??  
  
Draco: Well, I know just the people, but you have to promise that you wont tell anyone of the intelligence that they normally denounce.  
  
Hermione: Ok. Who is it?  
  
Drum roll.  
  
Draco: Crabbe and Goyle.  
  
Hermione starts to roll on the floor laughing.  
  
Hermione: Please tell me your kidding!  
  
Draco: No I'm 100% serious. They were going to be placed in Ravenclaw, but their parents put a spell on the sorting hat to assure that they would be placed in Slythren. Its both of their guilty secretes. You can't tell anyone.  
  
Hermione: This is to weird.  
  
Draco: I know. Who will help us that you know?  
  
Hermione: Fred and George will totally help us, Lavender will to, shes quite the schemer. I'll call Ron he might want to help.  
  
Just then the door burst open and in came a mystery person.  
  
Mystery person: You can't have Ron help you for he is in.  
  
  
  
END SCENE  
  
Ooh a cliffhanger!  
  
I want to make reviewer shout outs to.  
  
KAOS: I hope that you liked that part! See I do like it when you beg!!!  
  
serasivad: OCC is better! Also, you are my fan fiction idol; I hope that this story is half as entertaining as Safety Clips and the Descent into the Madness. Such a good fic.  
  
TzAmZ- You are my most prized reviewer, Thank You!  
  
  
  
I will probably update later this week, but I had no homework and decide that it was time for a mid week treat! Hope you enjoy!  
  
  
  
ALSO: I want to include this, it is about what FF.NET says about the reviewing process.  
  
"It is extremely helpful to use this opportunity to comment on an aspect of the story that can be improved upon. A well-rounded critique is often the most rewarding tool for the writer. "  
  
Pleze take these words into consideration and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
As always, Much Luv!  
  
~~Pink~~ 


	14. The Fallen angel

So, this is the chapter where the plan gets reveled. I know that you might have a hard time trying to think that Crabbe and Goyle are smart. Try your best. Here we go.  
  
Disclaimer: NOT MINE, never was and never will be!!!  
  
Chapter twelve!!  
  
SCENE: Hermione has been released from the hospital. Draco, Hermione, Crabbe, Goyle, and Lavender are sitting inside of Draco and Hermione's living room. They are all dressed in black pants, shirts, skirts, and dresses. There is a white bored. Draco takes the stage.  
  
Draco: Ok, I believe that you all know why were gathered here. As you all know my wonderful wife Hermione gave birth to our siamese twins last week. What I think all don't know is that were broke. I gave her the best that I had to give, so were broke. No money, nada, zilch! We have decided together that it would be best to steal the money, however, we are not the brain, you guys are.  
  
Every one thinks about this for a few seconds to mull it over.  
  
Goyle: Draco, what are you proposing?  
  
Draco: Simple, we go into the Bank Of London (A/n: does this really exists??) and steal the money, we can split it between the people who do it, we have the potential to get a lot of money, were talking millions.  
  
Goyle: Why should we do this?  
  
Draco: Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, then you take the house.  
  
Hermione (sitting up suddenly): What do you mean the big house always wins?? HAVE YOU DONE THIS BEFORE????  
  
Draco(caught off guard): NOOOOOOO. not really (Hermione, gives him a look), ok, yeah, sorta.  
  
Hermione: So you lied??  
  
Draco: I only lied about being a thief.  
  
Hermione: Great, Just great. WAIT, were Crabbe and Goyle in on this.  
  
Crabbe: Guilty.  
  
Goyle: Draco, you didn't tell her. That was the first thing I told Lav about.  
  
Hermione (to lavender):You knew???  
  
Lavender: Honestly, I though you knew!  
  
Draco: All right lets get on with this. What do you guys think??  
  
Crabbe: It can't be a smash and grab job.  
  
Lavender: defiantly not.  
  
Draco: How many people do you think? Ten oughta do it, don't you think? Do you think we need one more? You think we need one more? All right, we'll get one more.  
  
Goyle: Yeah, 11 should do it.  
  
Crabbe: Draco, we'll get the guys together in about a week, you guys just chill. You've been through a lot.  
  
Hermione: yeah, gothcha!  
  
  
  
The group disperses. Hermione and Lavender go shopping. Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco go to a coffee shop and discuss who they need to get to pull off this job. We go to the coffee shop with them.  
  
AT THE COFFEE SHOP~  
  
SCENE: it's a coffee shop much like starbucks. There are couches and chairs and a board with the many different combos of coffee written down. There are also baked goods.  
  
Crabbe: Hey, look, there's a sale on! ONE COOKIE FOR THE PRICE OF 8! What a deal!  
  
Draco: Ok, what do we want to order?  
  
Goyle: I want a venti Americano with an extra shot of espresso.  
  
(A/n: for all ya'll who don't frequent a Starbucks, Americanos are basically straight espresso and if you have to much you get a major caffeine trip and will shake with out trying for a few hours.)  
  
Draco: Ok, I donno what to get, so I'll have he same.  
  
Crabbe: sounds good to me.  
  
  
  
They order their drinks and a few cookies (because of that great deal) and sit down on a couch. They start to drink the coffee and discuss who they need to get to pull this job off.  
  
Goyle: well, it goes without saying that we need to ask the master for all jobs. But he's actually in jail now, so I don't know If we can get him.  
  
Crabbe: Its like he's a fallen angle.  
  
Draco: who the hell are you guys talking about??  
  
Crabbe: you know.  
  
Goyle: The one and only.  
  
END SCENE!!!  
  
  
  
Hee hee hee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
I love leaving it like this!  
  
Thanks to the reviewers! Sorry, its short, but next chappy will have more action I promise!!!  
  
OOH OHH, PLUG TIME!!!  
  
Pleze read my script adaptation of ten things I hate about you!!!! Pleze!! Its called 10 things I hate about you- Hogworts style!!!!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Much luv,  
  
~~lilpink~~ 


	15. A New Religon

Ya'll know the deal. But I'm gonna recap, for everyone who needs one.  
  
Dumbledor assigns the seventh years to go and live in the muggle world. Herms is paired with Draco. H is supposed to be six months preg. It turns out that they are siamese twins. She goes in to labor at a party, gives birth. D and H don't have enough $ to pay to get the kids separated so they decided to get smart Crabbe and Goyle to assist them in stealing and were about to find out who the ultimate stealer AKA: the "fallen angle of stealing" is.  
  
Disclaimer: not mine, though I wish it were.  
  
Here we go.  
  
  
  
SCENE: same place were we left off (the coffee shop)  
  
Goyle: Ok, your going to laugh.  
  
Draco: It cant be that bad.  
  
Crabbe: Ok, the fallen angle of all bank heist is Ron Wesley.  
  
Draco falls out of his seat laughing.  
  
Goyle: told you he'd laugh.  
  
Crabbe: Were not kidding. The Wesley's are almost as rich as the Malfoys, but because they steal it all it is hidden in Gringotts. He tried to stele from the bank of London the first day of the project, he got caught and is in jail now. Trust me, I don't lie.  
  
Draco: Ok, lets go see him.  
  
They all leave the coffee house.  
  
  
  
SCENE: All the boys are waiting for Ron in the prison waiting room. They all have wide eyes and are high off of the caffeine from the Americanos. They are shaking from having to much. Ron coes out in prison outfit that matches his hair.  
  
Ron: What do you goons want:  
  
Goyle: Shut up!!! Lil pink said were smart now!!!  
  
Ron: Oh, yeah. (rolls eyes) What do you guys want.  
  
Draco: Hermione had the babies.  
  
Ron: That wonderful, what are there names??  
  
Draco: Xaden and Eden. But their siamese twins.  
  
Ron: that's gotta hurt.  
  
Draco: She had a c-section. HEY DO YOU KNOW STARBUCKS????  
  
Ron: star what??  
  
Draco: STARBUCKS!!!  
  
Crabbe: It is shrine for all men who want to worship gods.  
  
Goyle: I am a believer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ron: I though that you guys liked hip-hop.  
  
Crabbe: That's a thing of the past!!!  
  
Goyle: We are believers in Starbuck.  
  
Draco: I DO BELIEVE!!!!!  
  
Ron: Ok, so back to the plot.  
  
Draco: oh, yeah. Well, I have been buying Hermione a lot of presents and we are to poor to afford the surgry. So we decided to steal the money from The Bank Of London. What do you think.  
  
Ron: I cant help, I wont get out for another two months, you cant wait that long?  
  
All men shake their heads.  
  
Crabbe: We figure we need 11 guys to pull this off.  
  
Ron: yeah, defiantly 11. Ten wont work. Defiantly 11. You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of jobs. Who were you thinking of?  
  
Draco: Me, Crabbe, Goyle, Lavender, Hermione, Pansy, Harry, that's all we could come up with.  
  
Ron: Heres what you do, Get them and then give this guy, Shifty Browns, He'll give you advice on other people to get. What about Parvatie?  
  
Crabbe: She was addicted to Chill Pills.  
  
Ron: Like you and Caffinne?  
  
Draco: WE ARE NOT ADDICTED, WE COULD QUITE ANY TIME!!!  
  
Ron: sure. I gotta go. Keep me posted?  
  
Goyle: sure, see ya.  
  
THE boys leave the prison. And go to starabucks.  
  
Draco: Hey, the lines out the door!! We cant get in!!!  
  
Crabbe: who woulda though this place would be so popular.  
  
Goyle: OH MY GOD!!!! IDEA!!!! Lets go to Headquarters!!  
  
ALL: LETS GO!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
END SCENE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hope you all liked it! Thank you's to my reviewers! I love you all! I will update sometime in the next week!!!!  
  
Much luv  
  
~~lilpink~~ 


	16. We are belivers

A/N: Ok. Here is another chapter. Sorry this is a slow update. I didn't really feel like writing and I have tree stories going on now.  
  
Shameless self promotion: Please read My Fair Witch. I like it. It's in the Draco/Hermione romance section rated Pg-13.  
  
Thank yous!  
  
I haven't thanked anyone for a long time. Its really a pain in the ass to write everyones name. But I still want to say thank you to all the people who reviewed and TzAmZ, you are the number 1 reviewer!  
  
Disclaimer: NOT MINE!  
  
  
  
Chapter 16.  
  
  
  
SCENE: Hermione and Draco's living room. The group's headquarters. Draco and Goyle and Crabbe and Hermione and Parvatie are all there. The guys are sipping coffee and are jittery from all the caffeine. Hermione and Parvatie are looking very pissed off.  
  
Parvatie (angrey): You be trippen! Why didja drag us here???  
  
Hermione: We were just getten our shop on!  
  
Goyle: ummm. you guys. Hip hop is so out and coffee is so in. YUM! Starbuck!  
  
Draco: I AM A BELIEVER!!!!!!!!  
  
Crabbe: If it weren't for this coffee I would be emotionally lost!  
  
Hermione: Let me have a sip of that!  
  
Draco: Hermionekinns!! You cant! You'll ruin your breast milk, and I am so looking forward to watching you feed our lucky desks!  
  
Hermione: Draco, were formula feeding them!  
  
Draco: Ok, DRINK THE FLUID OF GOODNESS!  
  
He shoves a mug of coffee into Hermione hands and she takes a long sip.  
  
Hermione: WOW! I AM A BELIEVER.  
  
  
  
This goes on for ten more minutes. Parvatie becomes a believer in the process. T%he they get down to biz.  
  
Goyle: Well, we have a small team put together. But we saw Ron, and he was put into jail for holding up the Bank Of London. So we have decided to steal the money From.  
  
All MEN: COFFEE IS US!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Coffee is us is a chain of coffee stores (I made up) that is Starbucks main competed.  
  
Goyle: We will be the downfall of Coffee is us!  
  
  
  
  
  
ALL: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
  
  
  
  
END SCENE  
  
  
  
Sorry that is painfully short. I have to write a paper, and I have a touch of writer block. Please e-mail ideas to me. My addy is. kitzypoo887@lycos.com  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
Much luv  
  
~~~lilpink~~~ 


	17. Enter: Shifty

A/n: Hey. URG!!!! This blows! My Internet keeps braking!!! I am so beyond bored!!!! So here is another chapter! I hope you like. I got a bit of writers block, but I'll survive! I promise!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Yawn.. this isn't mine! SO there! I am not this talented and if I were why the hell would I be writing a fan fiction???????  
  
  
  
Chapter 17  
  
SCENE: a deserted area just outside of town. We see a phone booth. It is a rainy stormy night. There is a man in the phone booth. HEY! Its Goyle. He's on the phone and now were gonna see the conversation. He dials the phone and starts to talk.  
  
Goyle: hey, is this Shifty Brown?  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: Hey!!! I don't want to hurt you!!! Ron sent me.  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: Yes, it is unfortunate. You see, my best friends wife gave birth to twins.  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: No, It's not that good. They were. dum dum dum. SIAMESE!  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: Yes, it is unfortunate. But see it gets worse. Yeah, they were broke, they cant pay for the surgery to get the kids separated.  
  
  
  
All of a sudden there is a lightning bolt.  
  
Goyle (scared): OH DEAR GOD!!!!  
  
  
  
Long pause  
  
  
  
Goyle: sorry.. Anyway! They need money. My friends and I have started a religion. STARBUCKSISM!!!  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: Yes, you can join the effort.  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: Yes, starbucks is the one true coffee house.  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle (getting irritated): YEAH, well were going to steal the money from Coffee Is Us!!!!!  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: yeah, I know I'm brilliant.  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: yes, I am good looking.  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: where do you live?? Can I stop by and see ya sometime??  
  
Pause  
  
Goyle: I'll be right over, bye babe.  
  
  
  
Goyle hangs up the phone and leaves the phone booth, he is going over to Shifty's place.  
  
END!!!!!  
  
  
  
I know that, that is really short, I sorta have writes block and I don't want to rush it. I have started to write some other stories, so I'm busy.  
  
DON'T READ AND NOT REVIEW!!!  
  
  
  
Much love  
  
~~~lilpink~~~ 


	18. shifty unmasked

A/N: Here is another rocken' chapter. I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY!!! SORRY about the lack of updating on this story. I sotra had writers block, but mostly it was just a lot of schoolwork. I wanted to relax, and no offence. but this wasn't what I really wanted to do. SORRY! I also have to say THANK YOU!!! You reviewers rock and I feel so bad that I left you all hanging, especially after that really short chapter. I will try to make this one longer and better!!!  
  
I have to say that this isn't really my whole Idea for this chapter. JENNI!!! You rock! She came up with the idea for this chapter and she is brilliant. I changed it a little bit. but the idea Is still hers and I am very grateful to have the help of wonderful people like her!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own a whole lot of this chapter.basically none.none of the character, and not the whole plot ides. DON'T SUE!!!  
  
HERE IT IS. the long awaited.. Chapter 18!!!  
  
SCENE: We open on the out side of a broken down apartment building. It is near the train tracks and it is stormy out. We see Goyle standing outside. He is in a pair of leather pants and a shirt that says "DOWN WITH GOD". He thinks about it and then enters the building. He is in the entry way. He rings the door bell for Shifty Brown. He gets this response.  
  
Shifty (he sounds like he has had one to many cigarettes): WHAT!?!  
  
Goyle (nervous): It's me. can I come up.  
  
Shifty: Sure thing.  
  
The annoying buzzing sound goes off and Goyle proceeds up the stairs. At the top floor he is greeted with an open door. Standing in front of it is Shifty Browns. A really ugly 18 year old. He looks like he's 50. He is balding and has a beer belly. He Is wearing a really cheap trashy smoking jacket.  
  
Shifty: I've been expecting you.  
  
Goyle: WOW! Your really original!! Lilpink is losing her touch!  
  
Shifty: yeah, LOL!  
  
Goyle: can I come in??  
  
Shifty: YEAH! Sure thing.  
  
He leads goyle into a really bad apartment with porn all over and a little tv and a microwave. The apartment smells like dying cats. There is a pull out couch. It is pulled out and has one sheet on it.  
  
Shifty: So, this is the place, you wanna get started?  
  
Goyl;e (looking thoroughly disgusted): umm. yeah. where do I sit???  
  
Shifty (now on the bed): Sit here. with me.  
  
He pats the space next to him on the bed.  
  
Goyle: ok! HEY! You're a really nice guy! Now, can you tell me where to get the right guns??  
  
Shifty (now massaging Goyle's inner thigh): well, I think you should steal them to, because being bad can fell really good!  
  
Goyle: yeah. Can you tell me anything else?  
  
Shifty: only if you do me one favor.  
  
Goyle: ok.  
  
  
  
Goyle reaches over and gives shifty a passionate kiss.  
  
  
  
  
  
(were gonna skip the next part coz u all know what's gonna happen next.)  
  
  
  
Goyle wakes up and it is starting to get light outside. The is on the bed with Shifty, but shifty is gone. He looks around. Shifty is in the "kitchen"  
  
Shifty: GOYLE! Ummm.. You.. Have. to. go.  
  
  
  
(he says in between bites)  
  
Goyle: I cant just go and forget about last night!  
  
Shifty: No you really have to go. my long lost sister is coming over in three seconds.  
  
  
  
There Is a buzzing sound, he absentmindedly hits the button.  
  
Shifty: OH SHIT! Why did I buy a one room apartment.  
  
  
  
Then the door opens and in walks Shiftys long lost cousin.. LAVENDER BROWN!!!!!!!!!!  
  
'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Dum dum dum.........  
  
END SCENE!!!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry shorter then promised. I have writers block again as far as the next convo, I also have math homework. I just really want to get this up..  
  
  
  
  
  
REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!! REVIEW PLEASE!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
You get the message??????????  
  
  
  
  
  
Much luv  
  
~~~lilpink~~~ 


	19. All is revealed

A/n: Ok, I'm writing this during my free period, the only good part of High school! I was hoping for this to b a fat update, but it's a long story- involving Yahoo! Screwing up my e-mail. I feel sick also. but. here is chapter 19. I would imagine that there would be less then ten more chapters left and an epilogue. Then I'm going to do another original comedy, I don't have any ideas yet though. So lets get started shall we???  
  
Disclaimer: You know the deal, this ain't mine!!!  
  
Chapter 19  
  
SCENE: We pick up with where we left off. SHIFTIES!!!!  
  
Goyle (still in the ed with the sheet over him): Dear lord...  
  
Lavender: WHAT THE FUCK???  
  
Shifty: I can explain. I think.  
  
Lavender: YEAH! You better.  
  
Goyle (getting dressed): Well, you see baby, I came here to talk to him abou tth eguns, and then HE felt me up. and then HE took it to the next level and then HE instituted the hot gay sex!!!! NOT ME. ALL HIM!!!  
  
Shifty: IS THAT ALL THAT I MEAN TO YOU???? And HOW do you know my sister.  
  
Lavender: He IS my husband.  
  
Goyle: FAKE husband.  
  
Lavender  
  
: I thought that we were more then that!  
  
Goyle: BABY. you know I love you. having sex with your brother was just a stupid mistake. I swear on the family grave plot. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. And shifty. I don't think that it would be a good idea to see you any more.  
  
Shifty: GREAT. now I have to get my red hot loven' from the cat.,  
  
Lavender: EWW! I cant believe that you're my long lost brother.  
  
Shifty: I know! Were so different.  
  
Goyle: WAIT, your related??  
  
Shifty: YEAH!!! Where have you been, don't we look alike.  
  
Lavender: Ok, that was an insult!  
  
Goyle: Tell me about this long lost sib. Biz!  
  
Lavender: It all happened when my dad went to jail. We were both one years old and my mother never wanted a boy, so she sent him to a orphanage. We didn't know each other until I looked up names of people that could help supply the guns. I found him and he told me about how he never had a family, we did a background check and it turned out that we were related.  
  
Goyle: What did your dad go to jail for??  
  
Lavender: He.. Sorry, this I shard to talk about. he was trying to steal INSTANT COFFEE!!!  
  
Goyle: INSTANT COFFEE!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You Father is the enemy!!!  
  
Lavender: just coz he likes it doesn't mean I like it at all!  
  
Goyle: We'd better go and tell the others!  
  
Lavender: sure. talk to ya later shifty.  
  
Shifty: yeah. bye.  
  
  
  
Lavender and Goyle exit and head to HEAD QUARTERS  
  
  
  
SCENE: the whole gang is gathered around and Goyle has just reveled Lavenders dirty secrate.  
  
Draco: well, we cant exclude you from the heist. you have to be there. we don't have enough people as it is.  
  
Crabbe: Your right. so far we only have Draco, Hermione, Me, Crabbe, and Harry and Pansy. We have to have you Lavender.  
  
Draco: You right Lavender your in.  
  
Hermione: Guys! I was reading in Heist Monthly, that the best time to try to steal from a bank is the day after Christmas. We cant find that many people by next week.  
  
Goyle: Your right. we should just do this with the just the Eight of us.  
  
Draco: Ok, I'll tell Ron and get more advice.  
  
Hermione: YEAH!!! YEAH!! LETS HAVE HANDS IN!!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
They all put there hands in.  
  
ALL: HOGWORTS KIDS KICK. (they all slap there ass')  
  
  
  
  
  
END  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
I hope you like. I think that maybe I'm dragging this out to much. I'll try to write the whole heist for next chapter, but that means that it might be a long time. but I will try to add more humor, and make it longer.  
  
Much luv  
  
Lil p 


	20. New discoveries

HI everyone, sorry I took a very long hiatus but I am back and I have 3 new projects in the works. I am going to skip to traditional knocking off movie script format. I will try to finish my American Pie knock off, but I have 3 in the works.  
  
I'm doing a knock off of the musical Zombie prom, little known, but very funny.  
  
I will be doing a AU version of Father of the Bride, but I'm not sure how yet.  
  
I will be doing a version of election.  
  
I hope to finish this all by the end of summer. Thanks! 


	21. Final Preperations

A/N: Hi ya! Sorry bout the really long hiatus. I was really weighed down by school, also! Check out Zombie Prom my new story!!! Here we go.  
  
Scene: Hermione and Draco's House- Hermione is sitting on the couch. Draco enters with a small tree (reminiscing of the Charlie Brown Christmas special)  
  
Hermione: Why is the tree so damn small?  
  
Draco: SOMEONE HAD TO SAVE IT FROM THE DEATH AND DYSTRUCTION OF HELL! HERIMONE, BE A HUMANATARIAN!!!  
  
Hermione: ok, want coffee?  
  
Draco: Si senorita!  
  
Hermione gets The coffee and Draco sets up the TV. The whole gang busts through the door!  
  
Parvatie: WE HAVE COFFEE!!!  
  
Hermione: we do to!  
  
They all sit down on the floor.  
  
Goyle: I have the guns! Are we ready for the hold up tomorrow?  
  
Draco: It seems so. Here this is the invasion plan. I hope that every one agrees with it. (pic of the plan at end of chapter)  
  
Crabbe: LOOKS SOLID!  
  
Parvatie: I've got you guys all these.  
  
She hands everyone a mask They are Shapes like coffee to go cups from Coffee is US!  
  
Hermione: WOW! Thanks. I get to be Double mama espresso!  
  
Draco: IM expensive ass venti!  
  
Crabbe: IM Smart ass Somatra!  
  
Goyle: YOU STOLE MINE!!! Ok, I'll be Hip hop Zimbabwe brand, NOT DECAFFE!  
  
All: NOT DECAFFE!!!!!  
  
Draco: HERMIONE! RUN TO THE BASEMENT CELLER! HE SAID THE D WORD!  
  
Hermione: WHATIS THE WORLD COMING TO!!!!  
  
Parvatie: WAIT! You guys! Its not like he actually DRANK any, so it's safe!  
  
Crabbe: good! I was a little worried Id die for a sec.  
  
Parvatie: I want to be called "Café Mocha shoka pint with a fruit twist and a hit of mint with dairy free whipped cream and soy milk in two cups, vienti straws and a biscotti" because that's what I order when I'm there!  
  
Hermione: THAT'S WHAT ORDER TWO!!!  
  
The girls high five  
  
Girls: WE SOUL SISTAS!  
  
Draco: so were going to wear masks the entire time. I have the get away car. It's a pimped out White Ford Escalade Limo!  
  
Crabbe: That's big pippen'  
  
Goyle: you be trippen'  
  
Parvatie: you got me straight trippen' boo!!!!  
  
Everyone laughs and remembers the movie "Bringin' down the house" (I LOVE QUEEN LATIFA!)  
  
Hermione: Ok! Everyone get a good nights sleep and be ready at 10 am tomorrow! MARRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!!  
  
END!  
  
Sorry its short and not funny. Im sorta just getting back in the saddle with this. Please review and check out my other efforts. Zombie Prom is up.  
  
REVIEW FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Peace in the middle east.  
  
Lil p  
  
Drawing  
  



	22. CONTEST

Hi to all my Loyal readers… I just wanted to announce that I am holding a monthly Fic contest on my Fan Fic site. The winner will be posted there and I will shamelessly promote you all over the different sites I frequent. Rules are on my site  
  
Thanks for reading…  
  
LILP 


End file.
